Caught up in sorrow, lost in a song.

what's happening to the generation today?

why can't you see the bigger picture?

it's not about you.

life is not about you.

stop wasting time. please stop breaking the hearts of them who raised you.

materialism won't get you anywhere.

fame and cussing wont get you anywhere as well trust me.

what's with the lying? the cheating? the unnecessary relationships you know won't last?

what's with the slandering? the disobedience?

SERIOUSLY.

please, just stop it.

Perhaps we need the reminder from Robert Francis Kennedy.. “It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope.”

can't you see you don't HAVE to follow the crowd? you can be your own person. being different is possible. there can be hope. there can be change. only if you let it. 

please.

I am appalled at the state of many lives I've come across. I know I'm not the better person, but it hurts to see so many young lives wasting their lives away when so much can be done. Lives are being lived uneventfully. 

They complain, they curse, they gossip and the excuse is - we're young therefore we're supposed to. I am saddened with the fact such mindsets still exist. 

Life is so precious yet they fail to realize this. They fail to realize what they do matter. I refuse to accept the excuse I've been given by a dozen parents and friends - 'their young and they'll grow out of it'. 

If one is not taught at an early age, how are they expected to learn it? If they can't do it now, do you expect them to suddenly figure things out once their in college? in university? Do you seriously expect them to suddenly get an epiphany one day going 'yes, i have to stop doing this rubbish'. It is, to put it mildly, very frustrating.

Your excuse that 'they are still teenagers and will grow out of it' is unfounded. saying that 'teaching them now will suffocate them and will cause them to rebel..' (seriously?) is, I'm sorry to say - stupid. as much as I respect you, I have to disagree.  

They need to be told off. and if you're not going to. I will.

Mind you, I know I'm just a few years older then these kids I'm referring too, but I feel OLD. The things they do, the things they say, really scare me. So now I know.. that's what happens when there's no discipline from the parents. Too bad.

'Cause all of the stars..

Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing

I got lost today after church when I had to send a friend back to UM. What should have been a 15 minute drive became an unplanned two hour plus road trip (whheeeee)... Its not something I'm complaining about because I actually enjoyed going around kl! (either that or the Holy Spirit was really really giving me unmeasurable peace.) - we started off in PJ where a wrong daring turn brought us to Mont Kiara, Damansara Utama, One Utama, Mid Valley, KLCC and eventually we ended up on the road to Seremban where a quick turn to the left found us on the road to Kompleks Sukan Negara. I was very tempted to just go back to Vista! then of course, we took Kesas back to Subang..blablabla and then finally, the emo 30 minute drive back to Klang... haha

The feeling of being lost, that hopeless, frustrating feeling, is not a very nice feeling, mind you. The most frustrating thought would be the fact we were so close to our destination and only one stoopid wrong turn caused a major, major detour. (detours - sounds like my walk with him at times..)

I know this is pretty random.. but I was reminded of Naomi when she was 'lost'. Her life was in a mess and what's worst was that there was no major destination she wanted to reach. At least in my case, I had a goal, a destination. I had to reach Klang before the grandma called for a search team for her granddaughter! It wasn't so for her now, was it? She had a plan (like how I had a plan to go to UM and come back in time for dinner...)  She and her husband had gone to Moab during a famine and their sons had married Moabite women.. Life was good - until her husband and sons died and she was stuck as a widow in a foreign land... then what good were the plans now?

'Though honest about her pain, Naomi obviously had a sense of who was in control: “The Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me” (Ruth 1:21).

The Hebrew word for “Almighty” (Shaddai) indicates God’s sufficiency for any situation. The word “Lord” (Yahweh) refers to His faithfulness as the loving covenant-keeping God. I love how Naomi put these two names together. In the midst of her complaint, she never lost sight of the fact that her God was a capable and faithful God. And, sure enough, He proved His capability to deliver her and His faithfulness to care for her to the very end.

If there seems to be no way out of your despair, remember that Naomi’s God is your God as well. And He specializes in managing our messes to good and glorious outcomes. Thankfully, He is both capable and faithful. So, when your life is a mess, remember who your God is! 

—Joe Stowell, RBC Ministries

In a lighter note, I have no plans to inflict anymore pain to the poor car that's already been around KL in less than one night... Its perfect timing really, for the much needed weekend break back home with no more kl driving.. 3 days and counting! 

mandi time.. studying time

selamat malam!

i dreamed a dream

Attention to all! do not, i repeat, do NOT watch the movie/musical Les Misérables if you ever get the chance. unless of course you enjoy a thought provoking, 'handsomely mounted, strikingly photographed and exquisitely acted' movie/musical. 

its the kind of movie that teases your soul throughout and in the end just stabs you in the heart. the sadness in the movie is so real, I promise you, my heart actually started hurting. (yes, that is exactly how I felt after watching it) honestly, its a good movie. it reminds you of how much life has to offer and how us selfish creatures have taken a lot of things in life for granted. It shows the two contras - the beauty of life and the brutality of life. you get to witness how ugly the world can get and yet, we are also given the choice of lighting a light instead of cursing the darkness. itstimetodosomething. 

As Victor Hugo puts it - "People are ignorant of things they ought to know, and know things of which they ought to be ignorant."

you know what? I LIKED the movie a lot. you'd want to buy the dvd and keep it forever because its that good. :)

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

I would love, love, LOVE to watch it live in Broadway :) I've heard its better than the movie...

The musical is based on a Victor Hugo novel (familiar with Hunchback of Notre Dame anyone?)... it's set in 19th century France (I am loving the accent and country!) depicting the life of Jean Valjean, a Frenchman who is imprisoned for 19 years because he stole A LOAF OF BREAD for his sister and mum (also, he attempted to escape several times, causing them to just leave him in jail longer). 

He eventually gets released but he has to carry a stupid yellow card to inform everyone he's a convict.. Obviously, everyone refuses to help him.. anyway, to cut the extremely long story short, I come to the conclusion I cannot give summaries of movies la. I'll end up telling the whole story :/ those interested can check this out hehe

in a nutshell, it covered so many aspects I can see and relate to the world today. Prejudices, injustice, hunger, compassion, love, transformation, acceptance etc. The scenes where Jean acts as surrogate father for Cossete will make you go 'ohhsshhoosssshhwweeettt!' The only problem is that the movie was highly abridged! me needs to go get the book asap mwahahaaha.. But seriously, the movie got me so worked up I think sleep just disappeared :/ the plot was complex and there was so much focus on the revolutions in France then that I googled it all and abandoned all hopes of finishing parasito lectures tonight.

There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
-Les Miserables

Its one of those movies.. they stay and never leave. :)

We can go the distance

Ike tagged me in this note in facebook. If anything's stumbling you from pursuing life, this is a must read!

Italian scientist, turning 100, still works

ROME – Rita Levi Montalcini, a Nobel Prize-winning scientist, said Saturday that even though she is about to turn 100, her mind is sharper than it was she when she was 20.

Levi Montalcini, who also serves as a senator for life in Italy, celebrates her 100th birthday on Wednesday, and she spoke at a ceremony held in her honor by the European Brain Research Institute.

She shared the 1986 Nobel Prize for Medicine with American Stanley Cohen for discovering mechanisms that regulate the growth of cells and organs.

"At 100, I have a mind that is superior — thanks to experience — than when I was 20," she told the party, complete with a large cake for her.The Turin-born Levi Montalcini recounted how the anti-Jewish laws of the 1930s under Benito Mussolini's Fascist regime forced her to quit university and do research in an improvised laboratory in her bedroom at home.

"Above all, don't fear difficult moments," she said. "The best comes from them."

"I should thank Mussolini for having declared me to be of an inferior race. This led me to the joy of working, not any more unfortunately, in university institutes but in a bedroom," the scientist said.Her white hair elegantly coifed and wearing a smart navy blue suit, she raised a glass of sparkling wine in a toast to her long life.

Source : http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090418/ap_on_re_eu/eu_italy_people_levi_montalcini

I can't make it through without a way back into love

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family." ~Thomas Jefferson

"From pale white to dark black, we've got the whole spectrum, baby!" 

- Ps Mark V.

As iron sharpens iron, no one can grow in isolation.  yes, I thank God for my family :) for parents who are so cute when they worry (especially if they think I'm purposely falling sick haha) and brother who calls randomly and just makes your day. for the cousins who are there to listen to your crap, smacking you when the need arises. 

you know what? family includes the friends. the ones that have helped in every way. the ones that have built me. Encouraging, exuberant, truthful and wonderfully hilarious friends. the ones that bear with the tempers and the weirdness..

i think Ungu says it best..

Terbelenggu cintamu
Terhempasku di dalam pelukanmu
Bermandikan air surga
Membasuh jiwa
Menghempaskan seluruh dahaga

hehe. a bit too descriptive but yea. 

anywayy, with the end of the weekend, its full throttle tomorrow! so, is it wrong to already be thinking of the next weekend? hehe

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

Lord, you have my heart

To contend, to seek.. No more compromise.

I learned that what you agree to, you empower. Agree with depression, you feed depression. you let it determine your moods. day after day, it can only get worse. its a never ending cycle! But in the same way.. to agree with God, is to allow him to work. you allow him to manifest himself in your life. Then your actions are not determined by your circumstance, but are determined by something greater than us. 

that fear of the Lord. where we look to him in reverence and in awe.. in obedience..

When David teaches "the fear of the Lord" in Psalm 34, he says, "Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking guile. Turn away from evil, and do good, seek peace and pursue it" (vs 14-15). Turning from evil should lead to doing good. So you see, the next time someone is annoying - get this - you WON'T get annoyed! you won't get pissed. haha.  

There is actually so much to learn from the bible. hehe

I wear a halo

of late people have been accusing me of being rather melodramatic. in simpler terms, i've been perceived to be somewhat depressed/emo lately. Tis not the case really. in fact, i've been having a pretty crazy week that has rendered me not depressed but contented :). 

if I have been looking rather down, worry not my dear minions, for tis the look of a person deep in thought *cough cough* a person trying to get her bearings right, a girl shifting through parallels of her own world (where everyone randomly bursts out into song) and the world she has been forced to live in. 

So yes, bear with me as I continue this random and pointless post.

Homesick.

Yes, this girl needs to go home. Too much things around me have been reminders of what I've left back home. It only recently hit me that I'm never going back the same. No more staying at home except during the hols. (hols that always, ALWAYS pass like the wind. bleh.) No more routines. New chapters, new schedules, new direction.

Not knowing where I'll be just makes me want to hold my God's hand more than ever.

carpe diem. To seize the day. no more wasting time. no more regretting.

life is too precious to care what others think about you.
sing out of tune today. sing out LOUD.
mess your hair, jump a little.

laugh.. just because you want to.

haha. 

trust me, its good for the soul.

My feet are planted on this rock and I will not be shaken

Your praise is always on my lips

Your word is living in my mouth

And I will praise you in a new song

Taking his hand.. One step at a time.

Only when no one is watching do we really fall apart.

I'm sorry about today.

I truly am.

I didn't mean to. But you needed to know. 

You see, I have feelings.

And, guess what?

You hurt them.

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage..

(my goodness. this sounds so horrible depressing. breathe natasha.. BREATHE... i'm fine. i'm fineeeee. just a bit self absorbed today. to die to myself. GAH. its hard.)

you see, its just been one of THOSE days.

you know, when the singing birds just annoy the heck out of you. when the talking just.has.to.stop!

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay