I don't wanna miss a thing

Been stuck in the go between lately of my own wants versus my needs of surrendering to him. Staring at the 30 choices with 6 different ends of the earth, she remembers the weekend when a new acquaintance pointed out the verse long put away in the attic.

Prov 16:9 A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

He doesn't realize how much that one verse tugged the chords of this heart. To know he has a plan and act upon it is not easy. Decisions still need to be made. Answers still need to be submitted.

Will he send me to Australia? Will I be soaking in the amazing sceneries of Scotland or will I be stuck in gloomy London weather?

For his ways are always higher.. Perhaps he does know what he's doing, no? ;)

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. Attitude is the single most significant decision I make each day - Charles Swindoll

Prov 19:21 There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.

Ker'na semua yang baik dalam hidupku itulah karyamu

Mengabdikan hidupku sesuai rencanaMu.

To give my upmost for his highest is to turn down so much of how I think, of how I feel. If things were my way, I imagine it would not be such a great world. I'm still too selfish that way. I'm trying to step through that door. You know, the door with life involving both pitfalls and blessings with a whole lot of surrender on the other side.

The amazing thing is that He never pushes. He'll bring you in front of this door again and again. Its you with the decision to make. Total surrender.

Step through it and you may not feel all that different. You'll probably be the same person you are now. But the purpose of your life will have changed. Stepping through the door doesn't change you - it does, however, change everything you're heading toward from this point on.

It means breaking the husk of my individual independence of God, and the emancipating of my personality into oneness with Himself, not for my own ideas, but for absolute loyalty to Jesus.

-Oswald Chambers.

I have hit the insomniac button again yet not much is being accomplished. As always, the fault lies in the same place. I wonder though, it is possible to not care? To not let the situation overwhelm or break you down.

ah well, study time. nerd mode:ON. Reproductive system seem to haunt even my dreams.

'Coz all I need is you

Psalm 27:4 - The one thing I ask of the Lord— the thing I seek most— is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple.

Oh, to be still. To forget and press on. To surrender. To be for a cause. To be sold out. To not care. To feel. To be in and not of! Tis something I still struggle with. Feeling of apathy. Superficiality. Priorities needing readjustment. Oh the flesh!

To get back on track.

To live life knowing its all about him.

To the unseen path, knowing his light is just enough.

All i have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all i have not seen

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (Something I got from a dear sister. Sabby, you cease to amaze me. the epitome of surrender. i love you much!)

could you take me beyond, could you carry me through?

sigh. Waking up to 'There's a cry in my heart for your glory to fall.. for Your presence to fill up my senses. There's a yearning again, a thirst for discipline. A hunger for things that are deeper.' Ah yes, that feeling for something greater. that yearning oh Lord for your name to be lifted high! Yet that fear of failure, that fear that you won't make it still crawls in even when you know he's got you. No one ever said the road would be easy.

I told myself this time it would be different. I want to achieve so much! And yet at times I settle for so little. There is so much to be done and Robert Frost put it best -
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I feel incompetent more and more everyday. And surprise, surprise, its not the medical books causing the nauseating episodes.

All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruising knees

20nd of September - exactly 2 months from my last post. Its a good day to revive a blog, is it not? I shalt trieth hardereth. To bringeth joy and flowers and sunshine to this blog with of course, one or two dark and twisty posts in between...

I shalt starteth getting back on track. To routine? To that which is constant? Sometimes I wish I'm done riding this roller coaster. You never know when that deep plunge is gonna take place. You just have to have faith that you won't fall forward. That the seat belts will do their job. That the feeling of falling over is just a feeling, and nothing else. Just a feeling. A terrible feeling. An exhilarating feeling. But still only a feeling.

You won't fall. and to make it even better, throughout the whole ride, you get your adrenaline rush.

Better than the riches of this world

I'm on my way
I promise you that I won't be long
I just called
Called you to say
I miss every little little moment
without you

And I can't wait
For us to be alone.
I'm almost in your arms.
I'm coming home.

That's right people, after a grueling 16 hour flightcummoviemarathon. she has only 4 more hours to Malaysian soil! she misses Malaysian food. HongKong food is yucky - just my 2 cents worth :)

These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray

Even with Starbucks everywhere, this girl's been having trouble accessing the net.. agh. She just found out today there's been wireless in the hotel room she's in but realizes its too late.

Crazy times. God-given wonderful blessed times. I wish I could record every second of it!

BUT, the place is stinky & congested. Its been pretty much a love hate relationship with the city :/

Anyway, this short post is to let everyone know that yes, SHE IS ALIVE. mwahahah

and as much as she loves this part of the world, she can't wait to go back :)