Sing with your spirit, clap with your hands :)

The thrill of the chase. that strange feeling, that adrenaline rush through your system, your heart going ten times its pace every time you catch even a glimpse of him whom you are in pursuit of, that even the mere thought of him turns your knees to jelly. That need to find him. That desire to not let him go until he blesses you. 

I want that.

With the innerself in conflict. Oh, to turn down the flesh! To run. To pursue and seek only that.

His kingdom and his righteousness. cozeverythingelsewillbeaddeduntothat.

And, to starve what is not from him.

(somewhere in Montana - June '08) 

I remember as I stood there taking this picture, a verse just suddenly came to mind...

For you will go out with joy  And be led forth with peace;  The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you,  And all the trees of the field will clap their hands. (Isaiah 55:12)

He deserves the best :)

I'm falling to pieces

The dream is fading, now I'm staring at the door
I know its over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feelin what I see
It's no mystery

How can you marry someone who doesn't love you? How can somebody be that selfish? :''( Why so much pain? so much heartache :(

hati saya sudah hancur

Natasha doesn't like lovetriangleswithsadendings

stoopid movie. stoopid movie! It should be banned for making people cry. *sigh*

yes, it won best cinematography yes it was splendid acting BUT its too depressing. sigh.

Legends of the Fall guys, absolutely brilliant movie. depressing movie. top 10 in my list BUT still ohsosad :(

Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that
I was made to love you

I travel the world and the seven seas

I have always had a complicated relationship with football. Despite the fact I grew up in a family with football crazy boys with the dad, brother, uncles and cousins always going kuku when it was time to see 20 grown men running around to get a ball with 2 other grown men making sure the ball didn't enter the net, I have never fallen in love with the game. Yes, I do find it interesting and yes, I don't find it torture to sit through an entire football match - but... I have never had that burning desire to support and root for a certain team. nor have I had that intense passion to get up at 4am in the morning just to see them in action... (for this I get a 'blek' by the wiseone)

However, the Barca vs Man Utd was a different story. I cannot describe that happy feeling I felt the moment Lionel Messi scored their second goal. Tho I think personally Man U played wonderfully well the first 10 minutes (I really thought they could win the whole thing), Barcelona practically stole the show the next 80 minutes. It was totally worth it to see Ronaldo getting frustrated minute by minute! mwahahaha. 2-0! I take joy in the little things thats annoying and killing others at this moment :)

Kini gemilang itu semakin pasti ku genggam...

Freely You gave it all for us
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is the love
Poured out for all
This is our God
Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Servant and King
Rescued the world
This is our God

Thank you Lord for a new day, for air to breathe, for a reason to live.

Its is Monday. It is a beautiful non-bluey blue Monday :) and and and - the birds are singing!

Anyone else in love with Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Paul Varjak: I love you.
Holly Golightly: So what.
Paul Varjak: So what? So plenty! I love you, you belong to me!
Holly Golightly: [tearfully] No. People don't belong to people.
Paul Varjak: Of course they do!
Holly Golightly: I'll never let ANYBODY put me in a cage.
Paul Varjak: I don't want to put you in a cage, I want to love you!

*sigh* loveyoldschoolmovies i like :)

Put your record on

I was having dinner with my extended family last night in this packed chinese restaurant in Bangsar Village when a thought hit me - Natasha, if someone were to suddenly collapse here in this room, would you know what to do? Do you remember cpr? Would you panic?

 yes, looks like its time to hunt those cpr notes down! I

Better is one day in his court than thousands elsewhere. Ps 84:10

I'm learning the art of surrender. To turn my eyes upon Jesus. No bargaining, no doubts. To trust him and let everything else become secondary. To place him where he's supposed to be.

And for me to be broken. Shattered. In pieces... And let the moulding begin.

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I don't know where to go, can't do it alone

I've tried and I don't know why

I've been feeling much of an outcast

In fact, I enjoy the lonely moments really. 

But yea, to get back on track. 

Accountability.

I'm about to do something about it. so there.

All creation cries to you

A million apologies for the long hiatus! Evidently, studying and the internet for me just doesn't work. One exam down with the major one coming in 5 weeks and counting!

Today was a rather eventful day. Was woken up by a weird dream involving Mira, new SRC rooms, gyming and high staircases :/ Finally caught a movie with the coolkid and me thinks she's gonna want to not watch movies with me anymore :(

The one true thing I've been struggling a lot about is with trust. and love. Trust and love. I've been finding myself at a lost. Wondering whether I love him because I've been brought up in that environment, wondering whether its an 'all in my head' thing and basically wondering whether its real. whether this love, this faith, is real...

However, again and again, I find myself reminded of how real he is. of how he cares. that even as king, he wants a relationship, he longs to hear our voice. he still wants to our time. 

God's got perfect timing, really. Just when I was going through this tiny argument in my head, Daniel, in cf meeting shares about love. about joy. the simple things really. about joy and serving. To serve with your whole heart, to serve with joy. with love. no complains, to arguments. To serve a living King. :')

You see, its because he first loved us. That he died for my sins. That he IS the Alpha and Omega. I find myself forgetting that time after time. I find myself in a pit when trouble strikes but as Friedrich Nietzsche (a German philosopher with a cool name and even cooler moustache!! check it out here. mwhahaha) put it - "He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'."

I've got my 'why' to live. so there.

Its time to continue the race, bearing every 'how' and 'what' and 'argh'!

Its a journey. Not an easy one, but its a journey I want to take.

One step at a time. learning, falling, getting up, walking. with him by my side, with him doing the steering. There's much to learn... to discover. 

I want that desperation. 

Here today and gone tomorrow

I can't do this on my own.

Realizing last night how much I still truly lack and knowing my own strength is insufficient... Makes it actually harder to believe in a God that's real, that's mighty to save. But then again, he's bigger than this.

There is just so much to learn.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bad may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower. —Cowper

My Jesus, My Saviour

Cancer. 

The something you're convinced happens to random people. Not people you know. Those names in paper were just that - names. Statistics and prognostics that had nothing to do with me. Until, of course, it comes and surprises you with a knock on the head or with a kick on the shin. :/ 

Funny how the surprises keep on coming... again and again. 

Cancer. 

The something you learn in class. When you hear of it for real, you remember that one lecture note. The one about the prognosis. The one about the high mortality rate. And for a second, you hope upon hope that you remember wrongly. That there is a cure. That something can be done. That its just a hiccup. A bad dream perhaps? 

Stage 4.

It has to be a dream. The last time I heard this was less than 2 years ago. I thought, 'Lord, its impossible that you're letting this happen twice. Both also are people I know! Seriously?'

But, its real and its not going away. 

You learn to live. To live despite the pain. To live with that hopelessness. Knowing you can't do anything. Wait. What do you mean hopelessness?! There is hope! Hope in him. Knowing He can. That He is mighty to save. That he will pull us through. Its when the night is the darkest that light shines the brightest, no?

I have nothing to say at this moment but am reminded of a song... 'The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me. Your love that rescued the earth lives in me, lives in me.'

Religion's really not about a set of rules. Its a love story :')

Some say he's just a good man

God's chisel

no idea how to upload the video here. oh well, this video is a must watch :)

indeed we are a masterpiece. if we were truly junk? what would that reflect the maker? I used to laugh or deny it when someone said I'm special. that I'm different. you know? as unbelievable as it feels. as much as i'd like to deny it. I AM a masterpiece. And so are you. and you. and you. and you!

he made us in his image guys. the least we can do is honour him, love him, trust him.

Even in our faults, in our weakness, he can and will be made beautiful... How awesome is that?!

kudos to Joanne who introduced the video to us during sem1 cell group today. sis, you rock to infinity and beyond! :P

So I said

She's moved on to a new room :D a much, much better place for sleepovers if you ask me. hehe

She's thinking of this bridal shower she's going to miss tonight :( and the one she missed 2 weeks ago! AGH.

She's feeling a bit dizzy. Must be coffee withdrawals seeing that there's no kettle in her place! (and she's too lazy to go buy a new one). or perhaps its the oversleeping this past few days?

She's wanting blueberries :( and cows! and sheep. the cute ones. with bells! yes, definitely cows with bells.

Isn't it easy to complain about something instead of doing something about it?

I wonder.

Why is it always easier to see someone else's flaw instead our own.

To press on, is not easy. To change, to deny myself. To learn, to get up when I fall. To turn the other cheek... Lord, the heart is willing but the flesh is weak!

It is hard,

You ask, is the final prize worth it? Will you even reach the finish line?

I know its worth it, I hope I do.

'..let us strip off every weight that slows us down & let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.' Heb 12:1

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

I have never felt this hopeless before.

I have never felt more like crying than now.

you see, theburden'snotminetocarry, right?

When I'm weak, he makes me strong. When I fall, he picks me up.

I can't do this on my own.

Love is Colour Blind

I'm glad to be home :)

If only uni was near home... even with the squabbling and the hurting, there's the laughter and the fun.. i'd prefer it anytime! Everything is imperfectly perfect hehe

John Ed Pearce said it perfectly when he said 'Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to'

Does that mean I'm already in the 'growing old' phase?

There's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again. 

me doggies are wonderfully adorable :)