random thoughts

yeap thats rite. things are slowly starting to fall in place after 3 months... (its been exactly 3 months since i left home *sigh*)

things falling into place = routine

waking up... lectures,

talking,
pbl room bonding,
study,
room-bed..,
sleep.

of course in the process, tiny, forgettable, minute things happen. things that we're oblivious of. things that we think dont matter. yet. they do. they matter dang it! funny how we fail to realize how big those small things are... ah, what are they? the God-stories of my life :) the people i meet.. the stories we share, the life we lead.. the God-stories - they never end. u see, he is gracious!

there must be more to life than this.

I KNOW there's more to life.

I was browsing through facebook today and came across a rather interesting group.. the name was somethin' like 'by the rate i'm going i'll be flunking med school'
the truth? i feel i am.
not because its SO tough. heavens NO!
the passion? I need the passion. I need to be driven. Purpose? Need it.desperately.

Stop already with the routine. Its time to stop limiting Him. he has so much to offer. I remember the pastor preaching one Sunday bout coming to God with expectancy. What does it mean to come pregnant? to come filled with something unexplainable.. that it'll give birth into a radical lifestyle. unplanned. uncalled for. reckless. to be recklessly in love with Him?? to forget about what the world thinks. to be at ease knowing its only him that matters. nothing else.

Yet feelings!!!!! ugh they come when u DONT WANT THEM TO. been overcome with this feelings that are oh-so-nice.. the 'could-have-been' feelings. the 'wat-if' feelings. ah yes, the Spirit is willing but the flesh is oh-so-weak.

Yet, he renews our strength. He knows our limits..never will he put us through things greater than what we can bear.. my amazing God never lets me Go. He proves it over and over and over again. he.never.lets.go. amazing? u bet! he gives strength to the weak.. sometimes as the 'seasoned' Christian we tend to overanalyze God. we put him in a box and come up with a whole list of who he is..

1.He is GOD
2.he is merciful.
3.he is a jealous God
4. he is holy

yada yada yada... we put him in a tiny box. we label him. big.mighty.righteous.loving. we tend to sort of know what he will do. we expect things to happen. we go 'Ah, yes, we expected that to happen. its God what..' ughh its time we stop limiting him!no more telling him how far he should go. we need the childlike faith - knowing he is our father yet NOT knowing how big, how vast, how awesome his love is for us. to accept his unconditional love for what it is.. no strings attached. the depths of his grace.. AMAZING. i have yet to understand fully. how the creator of heaven and earth can bother with something as worthless as me. yet thats the amazing thing about grace =)